Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
