you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just had sex on a roof
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
