a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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