Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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