Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My ass is underappreciated
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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