Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
