Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
