You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
