Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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