Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everyone says I win the strip club
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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