so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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