Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
