woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Enjoy the penises
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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