Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
