Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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