We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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