i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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