hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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