All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
