i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
