you would pick up someone in the library
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
