Define "chronic" masturbator.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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