Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
