Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
