my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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