i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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