Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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