she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
