'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
