If i come over, it means nothing
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
