thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
COCAINE IS GR8
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
