Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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