he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
