dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it hurts more in the daytime
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
