Someone shit on the floor
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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