and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
