Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
