my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
