Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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