Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
