i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
