It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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