I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
