i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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