You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
