in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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