The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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