I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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