There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just cropdusted the office
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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