Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
