I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Soap is not a condiment
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
