I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the room spins SO much faster in panama
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize