just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
