Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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