I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
