he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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