I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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