id be glad to
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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