Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
